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VI Fathers say they are not appreciated enough!

Some fathers say they deserve to be treated like kings for all they do for the mothers.
Father of the Year 2010 Mr. Raymond Fonseca is pictured with daughter Rayah. The Government had begun a programme where both mothers and fathers are recognised for their sterling contributions with a father and mother nominated for the award. Photo: Jasmine Perez/File
Father of the Year 2010 Mr. Raymond Fonseca is pictured with daughter Rayah. The Government had begun a programme where both mothers and fathers are recognised for their sterling contributions with a father and mother nominated for the award. Photo: Jasmine Perez/File
ROAD TOWN, Tortola, VI - With gifts in galore, new dresses, hair styles and jewellery, Mother’s Day is seen to be blown out of proportion, while Father’s Day is just a pat on the back and a cheerful greeting – a treatment that some fathers say is not good enough.

With Father’s Day set to be celebrated on Sunday June 17, this news site spoke to several fathers, many of who are of the view that more can be done to show appreciation to them and they deserve to be treated as “Kings” on their special day as well.

One father exclaimed that he does not know which one is worst, having to spend so much money on mothers when their day comes or receiving nothing on Father’s Day.

He lamented on gifts he bought for his ‘baby mama’ over the years. Gifts such as jewellery, phones, electronics and taking her out to have a romantic night. He added that the most he ever got was “a full plate of food.”

The father said if he receives nothing this year, the same will go for the next Mother's day.

Recently on Speak out BVI, a caller said that fathers are badly treated on their special day.

The caller agreed that there are some fathers who are bad and deserve nothing. He added that it is no reason to treat fathers unfairly.

The caller said that because mothers are treated like queens on their day, then fathers should be kings on theirs.

Emile Drummond, in disgust, expressed that it is wrong because both parties are equally important.

Drummond said that the day in reality is so different to Mother’s Day. “Less excitement, it’s just a normal day.” He added that as a father he would appreciate the same love he gives to the mothers on their day.

“It shouldn’t be, like this. We fathers play a huge role in a child’s life. I know that there are some bad fathers out there but there are bad mothers too.”

Another father Melvin Clifton claims that it will be a while before things change for the fathers.

Mr. Clifton stated that the world is more attracted to the mothers, seeing that they are generally around most of the time and are closer to their children.

As a husband, he said the mothers should praise the men for all the work they do. He added that this day should be a special day for the husbands and good fathers.

Agreeing with the comment that all the mothers do is cook a special dish on Father’s Day, he stated that it is not enough.

“Mother’s Day and Father’s Day should have the same level of recognition.”

He said businesses do all sorts of promotions on Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day is just seen as a normal day.
When this news site met with Calisha Tayonee, the message became clearer and clearer, as she responded in a very stern and positive tone.

“The bad fathers mess it up for the good fathers, children are generally closer to their mothers.”

Calisha said that she loves her father, but he will never equal to her mother.

Meanwhile, another female said “women are born to be lavished with gifts and all the men want is a big plate a food.”

She said businesses focus more on Mother’s Day because it generates more sales than doing any promotions on the day dedicated to fathers.

Mothers are second to none

Hon. Andrew Fahie, first district representative and a father himself, said a father’s role is very important to set the tone of the house, and for the children and the spouse, and even if he doesn’t live with his children, the importance of being in his children’s lives cannot be understated.

Hon. Fahie said mothers get more attention, which to him is natural.

“A mother’s love for a child is always different for most part, with them having to go through the nine months of labour and carrying the child, there is a natural and spiritual connection with a mother to a child.”

He agreed that Mother’s day gets more public recognition and the economic recognition from businesses as the mother’s love is “second to none”. However, he feels that fathers should strive to understand the origin of it so it doesn’t offend them but they can embrace the differences with a positive mind set.

“We have to continue to be a father in every respect, not only financially but spiritually and give them (children) the foundation to carry for life, and help them to recognise to know who they are and to remember whose they are.”

What is also important he said, is for fathers to remember that “God created us on purpose for a purpose which is God’s purpose and we must instil in them (children) the desire to fulfill the purpose why God has allowed them to exist on his earth. We must ensure we give the children freedom but as fathers, realise freedom without limitations cannot build a nation. We must continue to develop our children even in the rough times. Because today’s seeds of sorrows are tomorrow's fruit of success and also that in life, enjoy the moments that goes well and manage the moments that don’t.”

The proud father encourages fellow fathers to embrace God as being their foundation so that they will always have high self-esteem, high morals and a positive attitude so that they will never let anyone’s opinion of them become their reality.

“Don’t do it for the gifts but because of a moral obligation.”

The History of Father’s Day

Research has shown that Father's Day is a celebration of fathers inaugurated in the early twentieth century to complement Mother's Day in celebrating fatherhood and male parenting.

Father's Day was founded in 1910 by Sonora Smart Dodd, born in Arkansas from Spokane, who was also the driving force behind its establishment. Its first celebration was in Spokane, Washington on June 19, 1910. Her father, the Civil War veteran William Jackson Smart, was a single parent who reared his six children in Spokane, Washington. After hearing a sermon about Jarvis' Mother's Day in 1909, she told her pastor that fathers should have a similar holiday honouring them. Although she initially suggested June 5, her father's birthday, the pastors hadn't enough time to prepare their sermons, and the celebration was deferred to the third Sunday of June.

17 Responses to “VI Fathers say they are not appreciated enough!”

  • school children say (15/06/2012, 14:38) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    What Fathers..less than 5% of our men are really fathers
  • weed (15/06/2012, 15:17) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    this is so true deman...fahters do not get them props
  • persia (15/06/2012, 15:43) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    Poor our daddy they never get all what mommy gets as there are men who also have to be mommy and daddy
    • mask man (16/06/2012, 11:51) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
      Some of these so called “Fathers” need to talk about when they are ordered by the court to pay child support and continuously fails to do so!!!
  • Albion (15/06/2012, 16:00) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    Damn, that is some serious whining. If you need gifts from your family to know that you are appreciated as a father, you probably have bigger issues...
  • Confucius (15/06/2012, 16:41) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    As a father I am thrilled when my children remember me on Father's Day. Any little thing they do please me to no end. I expect nothing from my wife on Father's Day and similarly, she expects nothing from me on Mother's Day. She is not my mother and I am not her father. As far as we are concerned, that's the way it should be. Last year, my son and two daughters went out of their way to have a very nice dress shirt sewn especially for me. It was greatly appreciated and I can see the pride in their eyes each time I wear it. They also attempted to cook me my favourite meal. Let's just say I really LOVE the shirt! This past Mother's Day, they surprised my wife with a luxurious breakfast in bed. I cooked ~ they served her in bed and did all the cleaning. They also had saved their pennies for quite some time and bought her a lovely new handbag. She didn't have to lift a finger the whole day and she had a marvelous time. In the evening, our extended families all got together to celebrate all the mother's and all the children did most of the work. The fathers pitched in to assist them to some extent, but mostly, the children did it all. I believe the point of Mother's Day and Father's Day is to show one's appreciation and love for your respective parents. For us, it's not about the gifts, but it sure is nice when the children go out of their way to think of something (on their own) that you might really like and to do things "just for you" on that one day of the year. It always makes me feel very special.
    • All dressed up and nowhere to go (17/06/2012, 04:01) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
      Exactly my thoughts. It's not Spouse Day or Baby Momma (Daddy) day. It's a day to shower your parent with love and to recognize them for giving you life, raising you and providing you with everything you need to grow into a responsible adult. It's not about the child's parent buying gifts. Ludicrous the way these days are treated. A man crying about not receiving gifts from his baby momma is pathetic!
  • insider (15/06/2012, 18:00) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    But we all know half deeds fathers aint up holding dem responsibility so what the hick dem complaining about????
  • x factor (15/06/2012, 23:20) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    come on give dad some love as It's the one day a year we set aside to celebrate dear ol' Dad and I promise you he would like nothing better than a great grill meal of some real traditional barbecue (even if he has to cook it himself).
  • hmm (15/06/2012, 23:36) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    Happy Fathers Day to All the mothers. We all know that they are Really play the role of both Mother and Father in the majority of our homes. We appreciate you. Keep doing what you are doing. To all the men out there if you want respect on Father's Day, respect is earned. Start acting like fathers and you will be respected as such.
    • Pround West Indian (16/06/2012, 19:50) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
      They want recognition and yet do no type of fatherly duties for their childrem. Respect is earned fathers. Start doing things FOR and WITH your children and they will show u respect. Some of u would rather invest in rims for your cars. a trip overseas for horserace,a big screen tv, satellite dish than in your childs heath, education or welfare. Now here bawling. BIG UPS to those men who do answer the call and are real fathers. keep up the good job and inspire those of the male species around you to take a page out of your lesson book on being a Great Father. Happy Fathers Day !!!!!!!!
  • girl power (16/06/2012, 10:37) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    Not sure what deeds dead beat men wants?!
  • farmer brown (16/06/2012, 23:17) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    most of the BVI father/husband should be taking their responsibility as the head of the household seriously instead of up and down with these Spanish women and cheating!
  • Pray for Fathers (17/06/2012, 04:46) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    The greatest social ill currently faced by the BVI is the abandonment of children by their fathers physically, spiritually , financially and emotionally. On this Fathers Day I am calling for all Fathers to re-dedicate themselves to their communities, families especially their children.
    • Amen to that (17/06/2012, 21:39) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
      To all the Dads who take time out to spend with your children a Happy Healthy Fathers Day is wished to you. To all the Deadbeat Dads who only make empty promises and your children have not laid an eye on you in months, I wish you nothing. Just remember: children have feelings too. Your failure to spend time with them, your empty promises to visit and never do affects their self esteem and self worth. It leads to trust issues and abandonment issues. The children blame themselves thinking that they did something wrong. They wonder if their father really loves them, what with all the empty promises made left and right. To all the Strong Mothers who have had to stand in the gap being both mother and father 24/7 365 a Happy Father's Day is wished to you.

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