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Best way to settle dispute is a good sex - Pastor Duncan Potter on Domestic Abuse

- suggests abused women sometimes protect spouses in times of abuse
February 5th, 2013 | Tags:
Pastor Duncan Potter said the best way to settle disputes in relationships was a good sex. Image:supplied.
ROAD TOWN, Tortola, VI – Pastor Duncan Potter gave what some might term a cringe-worthy performance as he related some of his views on marriage and relationships on the ‘Relationship Rescue’ television programme with pastor Claude Skelton-Cline aired on CBN 51 last evening February 4, 2013.

“The best way to settle a dispute is a good sex" and that giving birth out of wedlock is a mistake rather than a sin were some of the striking statements of the pastor while on the show.

Pastor Duncan, who related that he was a former engineering student, said he earns less money than his spouse but is the better manager of money in the home and as a result had the ultimately responsibility of managing the family’s money. He was sure to qualify though, that he was the smaller earner only when ‘secular work’ was taken into context as he explained that he earned wages from other areas.

“In the matter of money,” pastor Duncan related, “I’m in charge, but the male (in any marriage or union) is ultimately responsible for the finances of the family.”

According to the 50-year-old, he has now been married for 20 years and though the union is so far childless, he still hopes to one day have six children by way of his wife.

He explained that he had started on this goal from the night he was married noting that he enjoyed copious amounts of copulation on the first night but for some reason may not have achieved his intended target. “She had the ooziness after the first night…” pastor Duncan said of his wife, “but some ladies have difficulty keeping the pregnancy going.”

Six children, he said, was the number that God gave him, “from the time I was young, before I met my wife, before I had my first girlfriend, I told her I want six kids… six is the number that God put in my head.”

“I said to myself, God, you have a weird sense of humour,” pastor Duncan related, “to give the cat six kids and I want six kids… and you didn’t give me the kids.” Pastor Duncan said the issue of adoption was discussed between himself and his wife but it was not an option the couple had ever actively pursued.

God frowns on homosexuality

“Basically God frowns on that lifestyle and Sodom and Gomorrah was founded on that lifestyle,” he added while indicating that he did not believe in homosexuality.

When asked by pastor Skelton-Cline whether he thought the Virgin Islands was a modern day version of Sodom and Gomorrah, Pastor Duncan replied that it was a tough question.

“We have [a] magnitude of sin in Tortola, we have sin that goes on that is unseemly to God… I wouldn’t compare [Tortola] to a Sodom and Gomorrah because where there is homosexual lifestyle in Tortola, it is not as rampant as in San Francisco and some other places,” pastor Duncan explained.

Pastor Duncan was next asked, “Do you sin?” His first reply might have seemed evasive to some when he said, “I do make mistakes… but I’m a Christian, I’m a child of God… I’m blood-washed.” Prodded further for a direct answer, pastor Duncan said, “Let me be blunt with you sir, I don’t practise sin.”

“There is a difference between a practising sinner and a sinner,” pastor Duncan said. After insisting for some time that he has made mistakes without actually admitting to having committed sins, he eventually conceded that he does indeed sin.

Pastor Duncan also qualified a person having a child out of wedlock as a mistake and said it was something that God preferred us not to do. “A mistake is something that we may have done but it causes a displeasement in our life after we made the mistake,” he added.

Views on domestic violence

“The best way to settle a dispute is a good sex,” pastor Duncan declared emphatically before adding supporting scripture for his belief.

“If [a couple has] tension in a marriage,” he added, “it breaks down barriers.” He explained that the power of sex was so strong, that outside of marriage, “if two adult cousins come together and they strip themselves, they may speak two different languages completely… but the power of sex is so strong… they would have sex because it is a bonding force…”

According to Pastor Duncan, sex outside of marriage leaves guilt on your mind; “when you practice a sexual sin it leaves a shame, it leaves a condemnation on you, it leaves that guilt on you,” he reasoned.

Regarding young persons who are datingand are having a ‘strong dispute’, he noted, “that calls for strong discussion… I would advise strongly that they pray before they come together,” the pastor said. He strongly recommended that youths of the opposite sex should not study together in the bedroom as it could lead to sex.

He recommended that couples involved in an abusive relationship seek help, “they should seek counselling… strong biblical guidance,” he said. He also recommended the presence of a third person in the form of a mediator.

He recommended that an abused woman who was married should seek prayer, “They should pray, they should seek guidance [and] they should seek counsel.” He suggested that separate prayers were warranted before the couple comes together.

According to pastor Duncan, some women take the risk of ongoing physical abuse to protect their spouse. “Married people tend to look out for each other, even when they’re hurting each other,” he said while noting that some abused women tend to lie about being abused. He conceded that it may be that they do not admit to being abused out of fear or guilt at times but stressed that it was also about protecting the abusive spouse.

He suggested that abused women seek to create distance between themselves and their abusers when “the physical abuse gets to the point where it begins to physically wear on the other person.” Pastor Duncan suggested that the threshold for ‘physically wearing’ be determined by the person who was being abused.

“[Abuse] is the work of the devil,” he contended, “the devil is using you against your spouse [in physical abuse].”

Before signing off of the programme, pastor Duncan was sure to inform the audience that he did not sin on that day, he noted that he had not done so either through “omission or commission”.

56 Responses to “Best way to settle dispute is a good sex - Pastor Duncan Potter on Domestic Abuse ”

  • born again (05/02/2013, 10:16) Like (8) Dislike (10) Reply
    PAstor Potter if I was a member of your church, I would be making a lot of mistakes, you need to pray to God for his help. There are no mistakes in the body of Christ. You call it mistake this is what the bible say "SIN is SIN" anything that is done out of the will of God is a sin no matter how you try to go around it is still sin. Domestic Voilence, Sex out of marriage, Stealing, Cursing, Lying and all the wrong things us Christians do is Sin and goes against the word of God.
    • Seeker of TRUTH (05/02/2013, 10:57) Like (12) Dislike (1) Reply

      It's a mistake to join any of these groups that peddle false hopes, no different than a dealer peddles dope for the hope of a better feeling!! The only difference with this man is that he is being brutally honest without any fear. This is the mentality that a lot of Christians have but would always tone it down for fear of being labelled as crazy or out of touch. Settle domestic disputes with sex? Cousins stripping naked and having sex? He doesn't sin? He's bloodwashed? I think his wife had the ooziness on their first night because she probably realize the mistake she made. This type of mentality is the cause of a lot of BS in the world today. Sad that people could be so far left-field. I got a migraine reading this #$%. WoWWW!!!

    • Hmmm (05/02/2013, 11:23) Like (10) Dislike (2) Reply
      Love is the only tangible prerequisite to sex between two consenting adults in my opinion, the institution of marriage only goes as far as "Love" allows it to go. To base a life long union where very quantifiable adversities often occur, on the unpredictable foundation of belief is asking for trouble. Furthermore, if knowing a person completely before you partake of a life long promise to be with them is a 'Sin', then marriage itself is a farce! For the life of me i cant understand how people wouldn't buy a car without test driving it, but let me marry this person without knowing first if we're sexually compatible that makes a loooottttt of sense! n when sexual frustrations arise as the almost always do in marriages, lets pray them away this also makes more sense that actually knowing a person inside and out before committing to them :) ....boy you've gotta love religion, keeps us so focused on death that we'd give up the simple pleasures of this the only life that we actually know!!
    • Introducing Truth. (07/02/2013, 21:05) Like (0) Dislike (1) Reply
      First of all, "WE" all sin, "all have sinned and come short of the glory of God", there is non righteous, no not one". We stand in the righteousness of Christ, he is the one who covers us and intercedes for us and pardons and justifies us, he is the one who makes us right with God, we can never be right by ourselves. Pastor Duncan, so many things about your article left me with an icy chill down my back. First of all children out of wedlock are not a mistake, it is "sin", having sex outside of marriage is sin it is called fornication. If we are goign to follow a movement why cant we be true to that movement all the way...if we follow christianity then follow its teaching fully, if we dont like what the rules are, then go be something else, but dont be a christian and change the rules, that is hypocrisy. We have to stop watering down the gospel and tell people the truth. Sin is Sin, if you paint it white it is still sin, if you paint it black it is still sin.

      A good sex is not the answer to everything, as humans we have to learn to respect each other, disputes are solved by each person looking at themselves and saying what could I have done differently in any given situation, how could i have responded in a better way, what can I do to change "me". That is how we handle dispute we work at being better people, anybody can have good sex. Sex is not the answer, look around in the world, so how many persons are being destroyed because of improper use of sexual expression.

      I am a christian, i am not brain washed, i dont have false hope. I have a living hope and I know what I believe is the "absolute" truth. That is my conviction and I am sticking to that till the day I die. I said that to say we are really in the end times and we really need to seek God for ourselves many false and half truths are being introduced everyday.
  • ....Boii (05/02/2013, 10:39) Like (3) Dislike (1) Reply
    So now your are asking the men to get into more trouble by raping their wives........some men are sick they will want and the wife may not then what?
    This remedy is very good for level-headed and stable people......
    This is opening a can of worms
  • LMAO!! (05/02/2013, 10:45) Like (20) Dislike (0) Reply

    Anybody can be a Pastor these days? What a crock of horse #$%^!!!

  • nonsense (05/02/2013, 10:51) Like (15) Dislike (0) Reply

    Pastor Duncan was next asked, “Do you sin?” His first reply might have seemed evasive to some when he said, “I do make mistakes… but I’m a Christian, I’m a child of God… I’m blood-washed.” Prodded further for a direct answer, pastor Duncan said, “Let me be blunt with you sir, I don’t practise sin.”

    50yrs old with no kids but intentions of having 6?? And people put on their Sunday Best (pun intended) to go listen to this level of dumb-$%%^&????? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????????????????? Blood washed?? **FACEPALM**

  • tellme (05/02/2013, 10:58) Like (2) Dislike (0) Reply
    I have a question please people,
    What is the deference between Christ like Christian and Christian? I need to know.
  • bvi (05/02/2013, 11:10) Like (16) Dislike (0) Reply
    No wonder God didnt bless this marriage with any children. This man aint good in his head.
  • What? (05/02/2013, 11:37) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply
    A pastor at what church, what a crazy thing to say!
  • Well Sah! (05/02/2013, 11:42) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply
    What a thing to tell the King!!! I don't believe hwt I am reading!!!
  • Jacobo (05/02/2013, 11:47) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply
    Seek ye first the Kingdom og God Duncan. Please.
  • l (05/02/2013, 11:51) Like (1) Dislike (2) Reply
    Having a child out of wedlock is NOT a sin. Having sex outside of wedlock IS a sin.
  • ok (05/02/2013, 11:53) Like (9) Dislike (5) Reply
    the whole profession is a con
  • ausar (05/02/2013, 12:11) Like (4) Dislike (0) Reply
    Now we can see why there are plenty people who will never attend church in this country.

    The level of prejudices..truly amazing!
  • Hmmmmm (05/02/2013, 12:15) Like (3) Dislike (2) Reply
    He did not qoute one scripture from the bible... HMMMM... FOLLY
  • wise-up (05/02/2013, 12:19) Like (1) Dislike (1) Reply
    i just love this guy
  • j (05/02/2013, 12:27) Like (5) Dislike (0) Reply
    with him and claude in the same room? lightning crashes!
    • SUSS (06/02/2013, 13:20) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
      me son is not lighting is thunder tell ayu about them church goer them. a more fire fe ayu
  • Cherri (05/02/2013, 12:54) Like (5) Dislike (0) Reply
    For we have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. Pastor you too have sinned.
    • Seeker of TRUTH (05/02/2013, 13:04) Like (5) Dislike (2) Reply
      What you just parroted is no differnt to me singing humpty dumpty or jack and jill went up a hill. All are stuff that's ingrained in your mind from being taught it over and over and over. It doesn't mean it makes any sense. But who am I kidding. If you believe a virgin can give birth to a baby then sky's the limit!
  • Confucius (05/02/2013, 14:32) Like (28) Dislike (0) Reply
    The best way to settle a dispute is honest and open DISCUSSION. If that leads to sex later on, then great!

    What a fool!
  • The Original Seeker of the Truth. (05/02/2013, 14:37) Like (17) Dislike (0) Reply
    Sadly, The views expressed by this pastor do much more harm than good. The opinions expressed did more to strengthen those who oppose the churches than express the truth of God. This is the result of what happens when good intentions meet a lack of education. To those over spiritual people who believe that they need not study just speak, may this article and the comments that it inspires, remain in your memory.
  • under the bus (05/02/2013, 15:31) Like (21) Dislike (0) Reply
    well mey bouy this guy half crazy
  • man and wife (05/02/2013, 15:46) Like (2) Dislike (1) Reply
    Thanks for this advise Mr. Potter…I know what to do now!!
  • nonsense (05/02/2013, 16:32) Like (6) Dislike (0) Reply
    I wonder how his wife feels after seeing/hearing this display?
    • Peaches (06/02/2013, 08:44) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply

      If I were his wife I would feel SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! then again I would have spotted that this fool was a fool the moment he came sniffing around me for a relationship! Solving disputes with SEX you say? so if your husband abuse you, you must go and have sex? if both of you have a problem instead of sitting down and solving it you must have sex? and when the sex is over the problem remains? Your head good {Pastor}? You are 50 years, maybe your wife is a bit younger than you and you still loving for six (6) children? at this age? at this time when the world is in such chaos? You got to be kidding! Just reading this story makes me want to puke! Not everybody who say they are a Pastor is a true man of God.

    • qq (06/02/2013, 08:57) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
      The perfect choice indeed,
  • For Real?! (05/02/2013, 16:42) Like (6) Dislike (0) Reply
    I have read this article and read it over again......WTF???!!! Two cousins having sex?.....really? Aye Pastor Potter, you making Pastor Stewart look like an angel!!! Someone get this crazy a$$ pastor some medication please cause his reasoning is not one of a full deck.
  • Unbelievable (05/02/2013, 17:29) Like (9) Dislike (0) Reply
    All I can say is mouth dropped as I read. Is this man for real? One word - lunatic!
  • Movements (05/02/2013, 18:49) Like (2) Dislike (1) Reply
    After beat up is beat out? Oh, I didn't realize it was this simple. This man must be a 'God' sent! :):)
  • ... (05/02/2013, 20:21) Like (4) Dislike (0) Reply
    People just read the Bible for yourself and you will find the truth and know the difference between truth and falsehood when you hear it. Many are called, but few are chosen.
  • Truth (05/02/2013, 20:42) Like (2) Dislike (0) Reply
    I am not sure of the intent of this article, but marriage/male and female relationships need to be based on mutual respect. As for abuse, those need to be ended immediately.
  • nonsense (05/02/2013, 21:15) Like (2) Dislike (0) Reply
    Pastor Potter needs to pray more because his taughts are totally mix up.
  • Mick Mars (05/02/2013, 21:25) Like (4) Dislike (0) Reply
    What in fetch's name is the "Oooziness" ?
    • dread (06/02/2013, 14:35) Like (2) Dislike (1) Reply
      I still trying to figure out if he mean she was starting to get wet, orgasm or felt sick to her stomach.
  • Luvz (05/02/2013, 23:02) Like (2) Dislike (3) Reply
    Thank God for sound biblical doctrine/teaching. If one does not know the Word of God, you will fall for a LIE. Beware of false teaching!!!!
  • He needs help (06/02/2013, 13:57) Like (3) Dislike (1) Reply
    VINO you guys need to take this article down you can't see that this gentleman is not well. Please do him and his family the favor and take this article down.
  • x (06/02/2013, 15:40) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    look he face he can give any good sek eh?
  • hmmmmmmmmmmm (06/02/2013, 16:16) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    say it aint so how u come on here and shame my girl so, your lovely wife
  • high hope (06/02/2013, 18:14) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply
    This is beyond sick
  • Is This For Real?? (06/02/2013, 19:15) Like (2) Dislike (0) Reply
    I became aware of this disgusting piece of 'news' today and I am totally appalled! Is this a man of the cloth or a man of utter froth? This is an embarrassment to this man's spouse, and to all women. What happens on the marriage bed should stay in the bedroom. Personally, I feel that these are the rantings of a madman, and I place equal blame on the host of the programme for allowing that rubbish to be spewed out via television.

    There are ministers and there are 'ministers'. It is now left up to all of us to 'examine the horns' of those professing to be what they obviously are not. We need to pay more attention to their preachings and teachings, or we may very well be lead astray. This article was worse than an x-rated movie.

    Another warning sign that the devil is out on a rampage. Beware!!
    • Hmmm (06/02/2013, 21:18) Like (2) Dislike (2) Reply
      No minister is different than any other, some may be well versed as to articulate their way around the issue of their own primal urges and ignorance more suitably to the public; but at the end of the day they are all men claiming to know that which not even the authors of their bible knew for sure. They are all simply interpreters of accumulated doctrine that have been compiled to portray a version of the truth that furthers their specific agenda. Where there is ignorance the blind can lead the blind, it takes but one man to realize he can say “I see, follow me!” and not another blind soul will ever be the wiser!
  • A Fahie (06/02/2013, 20:42) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
  • Distraught (06/02/2013, 20:47) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    It is sad to think that someone is calling themselves "Pastor" and speaking so foolishly.
  • ..... (06/02/2013, 21:44) Like (6) Dislike (0) Reply
    Apart from claude cline instigating and tripping him up, I really don't see anything crazy about what he said. It may not be a common view, but apart from having 6 children, what he spoke about is quite common. If you know the man you will understand him. By now you all should realize that these websites take one statement or excerpts and make it seem like it was the focus of their conversation. Claude cline is just trying to promote his show. I watched the show and I think Potter explained himself quite well. Potter is just different and Claude took advantage of it.
  • snake oil (07/02/2013, 01:39) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    ...... Another stupid day in Tortola, a place where nothing is not complicated, especially if it originated from your head or office, It must be hard living with a brain the size of a pea. I've grown so tired of all of the partisan Politics, It would have been a bit refreshing to see something accomplished without the usual Rig- ma- back to the topic Pastory Duncan strupppssss
  • CRAZINESS!!! (08/02/2013, 19:05) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    Matthew 7:15
    Beware of false prophets which come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
    Romans 16: v 17-18
    Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.
  • look (09/02/2013, 17:39) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    Just looking at he face his answers does not surprise me
  • run away (09/02/2013, 23:37) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    pOTTER JUST spreading salt to run duppy.
  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (10/02/2013, 23:23) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    say what? this man need consoling

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