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Illegitimate children can break up homes - Hon. Delores Christopher

-suggests during debate on Children’s Bill that men with children on the outside bring them into their matrimonial home
Member for the Fifth District and Deputy Speaker of the House of Assembly Hon Dolores Christopher called on men of the Territory to step up to their paternal responsibilities but believes this depended on the heart of the man. Photo: VINO/File
ROAD TOWN, Tortola VI - Member for the Fifth District and Deputy Speaker of the House of Assembly Hon Delores Christopher called on men of the Territory to step up to their paternal responsibilities but believes this depended on the heart of the man.

She was today March 27, 2014 taking part in the debate on the Status of Children Bill during the Fifth Sitting of the Third Session of the Second House of Assembly.

“The whole problem why we have this Bill here today is because men run away from their responsibilities,” she said. “It goes both ways…they don’t want to take care of the children on the outside and a lot of times they don’t want to take care of the children on the inside either,” she said. “Men are shirking their responsibilities; some men…a good portion of men,” she stressed.

She suggested asking men to bring home an outside child, despite the difficulties that may arise from this.

“I want to make something very clear as I stand here today, and it is to say this is not a Bill that concerns us based on which side of the aisle you’re on. It is a Bill where you have to see for yourself, and search your own conscience and I believe that that is accepted to all of us,” she said.

“This is a Bill that affects all of us…personally. If it is not you it is your brother, your sister, your aunt or some family member. It is throughout our community,” she said.

The member called on the House to also focus on the needs of the children in marriages who might be neglected because of other children. “There is a class of children that is not being mentioned and I feel obligated to speak up on behalf of those children…children who are deemed to be in wedlock,” she said.

“In our communities we have many examples we could refer,” she said, referring to issues affecting children in wedlock. “As a woman, a mother and somebody who understands this, I would like to offer my views…and what I think should be included in this Bill,” she said.

“The Bill makes reference to the rights of the child, and I have other bones of contention to talk about rights of children that are not being addressed,” she said. “I wish that somewhere in the Bill there might have been a section to emphasise the rights of children that are born in wedlock because ever so often Madam Speaker the ‘lock’ is taken off of the ‘wed’,” she said.

“Madam Speaker I don’t know if we believe that we could right the wrongs, but there are wrongs on both sides,” she said.

“I am making a voice for those children born in wedlock,” she said. “This Bill speaks about the equal status of the children; and I agree that those things should be corrected…the ugly words should disappear. But I have a serious question when a disruption is caused in a home, in a marriage. And the children inside the home…are also made to suffer,” she said. “[They are] suffering because many times Madam Speaker when they are looking for their daddy he is nowhere to be found,” she stressed.

56 Responses to “Illegitimate children can break up homes - Hon. Delores Christopher”

  • kiss (27/03/2014, 15:35) Like (20) Dislike (4) Reply
    If I was near you I would hug you and kiss you, Thank you so much for making that point and stressing on it..
    • kiss yes (27/03/2014, 21:15) Like (6) Dislike (6) Reply
      You will say dat because it sounds like you are one who has mothered children with somebody's husband
    • chad (28/03/2014, 07:46) Like (0) Dislike (1) Reply
      so who are these irresponsible men having children with? In many cases its irresponsible women. How many women break up the home? This is an unbelievable statement from a so called leader.

      I do agree that too many man shirk their responsibilities but its not only them
  • x factor (27/03/2014, 15:48) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    well saw
  • Observer (27/03/2014, 15:54) Like (21) Dislike (4) Reply
    Why don't they create a bill about people who breaking up marriages if they seriously want something to do?
  • Opening in a Can of (27/03/2014, 15:59) Like (24) Dislike (9) Reply
    Madam you are 'opening up a can of worms' here. First of all let me say that as a Christian society this has no call being debated on. If the man wants to provide for these children outside of wedlock he can go ahead and do that in his will. I must say also that I have seen and heard of the 'outside' child being there for the parent during times of adversity more than the 'lawful' child.
    I would say this much though, that the relationship between the husband and the wife sometimes cause these things to happen, for I have heard of instances where as soon as the wife gets the ring, husband can't touch her, she doesn't cook, wash his clothes, the whole nine yards. As a woman I would say this is wrong, wrong, WRONG! If the man is not treated as the 'Head' and shown the affection, he is going to go and look for 'greener pastures' where he can feel appreciated. (Please note that I am not advocating this walk out, but I can tell you it's nothing worse than being unhappy and depressed in a relationship).
    So women & men, I implore you, stand by your man/woman, make sure that your house is a Haven of love, joy, laughter, and togetherness, and then when you have done your best, let God do the rest. Peace and Love!
    • Hmmmm (28/03/2014, 06:24) Like (7) Dislike (0) Reply
      Whether a child born outside or inside a marriage at the end of the day it's still the man child ...... Labeling them will only create a war path . In the end we want to teach the kids to love and care for family not our ASSETS
  • ooooo (27/03/2014, 16:06) Like (1) Dislike (1) Reply
    if yo think she lie ask the grasshopper?
  • jack be stil (27/03/2014, 16:09) Like (12) Dislike (2) Reply
    at least she got the courage to oppose these silly NDP bills
  • Positive (27/03/2014, 16:11) Like (4) Dislike (0) Reply
    So true, THANKS for opening a bag of worms which needs to be addressed seriously.
  • bad mind (27/03/2014, 16:46) Like (5) Dislike (14) Reply
    We very well know the children born into wedlock are 99.9 % of the times the ones that are seating pretty while outside child or children get treated like dirt Deloris seat your a.. Down
  • No Name (27/03/2014, 16:48) Like (20) Dislike (3) Reply
    "She suggested asking men to bring home an outside child, despite the difficulties that may arise from this."

    Delores good in her head????????????????
  • my (27/03/2014, 16:59) Like (57) Dislike (8) Reply
    I do not believe children born in wedlock or a matrimonial home should be given same rights of children born outside due to affairs. If a husband and wife has built assets together, I do not think it is right for the outside child to reap same rewards of the children born in the home.
    • @my (27/03/2014, 19:01) Like (11) Dislike (4) Reply
      Do these children get themselves? Children are children -- they deserve to be looked after. Now, if you want to suggest finding some way to limit the outside woman or if you wanted to punish Mr. Unfaithful himself, I could understand (although I don't see how it could be done) but it's not the children who should be punished. Do you realize that where a man and a woman are in an unmarried relationship (no wife in the picture) and they have a child, that child is also "illegitimate"?
      • my (27/03/2014, 22:30) Like (14) Dislike (1) Reply
        I understand your point. I do agree the children should be taken care of, however, if a couple struggled together and built finances and have their own children; the man has an affair and has a child outside, are you saying the child should benefit equally as the children of the matrimonial home from the finances he and his wife worked hard to build? Sure the child should be taken care of, yes, but not the same as the children. That was my point!
        • To my (28/03/2014, 10:27) Like (2) Dislike (0) Reply
          No, what the Governement is saying is that the law cannot discriminate in order to fixt that problem for you. If you have an unfaithful husband, protect your assets in a legal way or let the man make a will leaving all his assets to your children. This is the way people order their own houses and not wanting the law to do it for them. If you cannot get your husband to understand these issues and to protect your children, then there is a bigger issue there and not one the law shoudl be involved in.
      • . (28/03/2014, 10:09) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
        Children are children, until they grow to adults. Should a wife who has struggled alongside a man to build marital assets then have to fight a grown outside "child" to stay in her marital home after her husbands death?
    • @my (27/03/2014, 20:42) Like (2) Dislike (4) Reply
      The devil at work reading your post
    • @my (27/03/2014, 21:54) Like (6) Dislike (10) Reply
      To all those that pressing the like button. As sure as the sun shine, being 60% of the population, that outside child will one day become Premier. And, they will be our future leaders. Think on the laws they will pass based on how you plan to treat them.

      You better think before talking nonsense.
    • bemindful (27/03/2014, 22:14) Like (6) Dislike (4) Reply
      My remember you are somebody child, we come with nothing and we will leave with nothing, nothing is wrong with the outside child reap same rewards of the children born in the home. Share and share equal alike at the end of the day, same father, same blood. If you go into a marriage with a child not belonging to your spouse, would you not want him or her to afford the same rights if you get a child in marriage.
  • Boomerang (27/03/2014, 18:10) Like (25) Dislike (1) Reply
    Some wifes treat their husband real good and yet still he goes out and cheat and get another woman pregnant and the wife is the one now that's suffering
    • To Boomerang (28/03/2014, 10:29) Like (2) Dislike (0) Reply
      The wife is suffering because of the infidelity. Her assets do not need to suffer. What is rightfully hers will be for her chidren and what is the man's own will split amongst all his, UNLESS HE MAKES A WILL TO INDICATE THAT ONLY THE CHILDREN FOR HIS WIFE HE WANTS TO INHERIT. Remember this law only operates if the man does not leave a will. If he says how he wants his property to be shared, the law cannot override that.
  • BS (27/03/2014, 18:20) Like (11) Dislike (0) Reply
    The irony is most of these men go to church. The BVI, 'Natures Little Hypocrite.'
  • To the Naysayers (27/03/2014, 19:28) Like (12) Dislike (8) Reply
    Point blank a child NEVER ASKED to be brought into this world. What kind of "christian" society are we?

    A child born to parents who are unmarried is SOMEONE'S CHILD and should have any rights of their parentage.

    • Ju.... (01/04/2014, 05:53) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
      if they were such chiristians then where did all these illegitimate kids come from? and they sit right in church every week and we know them well...devils.
  • beingmindful (27/03/2014, 20:14) Like (5) Dislike (10) Reply
    Yes we are God fearing people, I am not saying men should go out and get children out of wed lock but why should a child continue to suffer for their parents misfortune. If we really fear God we will show that inside and outside child some love, make sure they have the necessities of life like food, clothes, medical assistance and especially love. Children were never asked to be born in some situation but if you know a man who has an outside child or inside child encourage him to support and love his child. To All Women the best thing you can do for an outside child is to make sure they get the necessities of life. God will do the rest. No sense causing over things we cannot change.
  • cay (27/03/2014, 20:19) Like (12) Dislike (0) Reply
    Look three to four of them in the house has outside children
  • Reality check (27/03/2014, 21:00) Like (4) Dislike (2) Reply
    Regardless of how good a wife is if the man decides to cheat he will, many of these men chooses to do so without using condoms. Yes the woman could refuse and hit him with "no glove, no love" or could go on the pill. The bottom line is the child is indeed innocent and is no less his/her father's child simply because mommy ain't daddy's wife. Because is the same sperm, and eggs are not partial to whether the sperm's married or single.

    If a man has 3 acres of land prior to getting married and then has two children with his wife then has another as a result of an affair why should the outside child be denied an acre of land? And my opinion is if he and his wife bought land for their children, he should buy a piece for the outside child/ren or help the mother(s)
    • RedStorm (28/03/2014, 09:55) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
      Love your comment. It tells of a greater deep reasoning of what Christianity is all about. Doing the will of the father (God) is not easy, especially when you are put to the test, but greater is he that is with God than those that are not. True Christianity when tested produce true character of the things mere men would not do, but extra ordinary men who rely on God for guidance will. Land and house are here for a time anyone can achieve those things, but good morals when instill in the soul of man are there for this life and the hereafter.
  • What a ting (27/03/2014, 21:13) Like (8) Dislike (0) Reply
    For ever right thing, evil has a way of thwarting it. Wives in the BVI do not sit idle and make this Bill become a reality. There are lot of single women, who are bent on destroying marraiges. Single women will make it their business to try and seduce and make a child for men who has money. We talk about Christian society, God had to asked Hagar to leave with his son so that Sarah had to get peace. What nonsense Delores Christopher is talking. THis is going to create more family probems in the BVI. A women commits a willful act to bear a chid for someone else husband and they must benefit the same as the children in the home. This is nonsense. Sin has consequences. Wives let the men work for what they want do not help so your asset would go to mind a next woman child. Where is protection for the lawful child and wife . Let the man take care of his responsibility. Let him pay for the support of the child through the court not giving them the same assets that the wife help to build with her husband.
    • What a ting, you are wrong (28/03/2014, 10:46) Like (1) Dislike (2) Reply
      God did not ask Hagar to leave. God in fact sent Hagar back to Sarah when Sarah sent her away and God took care of Hagar and Ishmael although Isaac was the covenant child. If you have an unfaithful husband, there are consequences if you stay with im. The bible has stated that it is the one ground for divorce. If you divorce, you will have your property to give to your children as the law would separate it. If you stay, there are choices, insist on a will by the man so that only your children are left the assets, have all the assets be placed in your name, or be prepared for equal status of your children and his children, simple logic.
  • Hmmm... (27/03/2014, 21:58) Like (4) Dislike (0) Reply
    If we are indeed a Christian society, why not look to the bible to see how such matters were handled? Case in point Abraham who had two sons, one with his wife and one with her handmaiden. Did the two sons get the same inheritance or birthright? He was not the only one. Why not search and study the scriptures for insight and wisdom? While I do agree that the "outside" child should not be made to go without a "blessing" from his or her father, there is no way that I can agree with that child getting the same exact "blessing" as a child of the matrimonial home.
  • hot mess (27/03/2014, 22:06) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply
    This same thing is going on right her on VG. My friend's husband cheated on her and got a woman pregnant. How awkward would it be for the wife if he brought the baby home? How messed up is that? He got another woman pregnant and he don't even have a child with his own wife. Well sah me tell ya it aint a pretty situation!
  • long road (27/03/2014, 22:21) Like (6) Dislike (0) Reply
    this NDP gang has no right to dictate to anyone how they should share their assets
  • Queen (27/03/2014, 22:56) Like (8) Dislike (2) Reply
    Yes Maaaam you right. I know they were not asked to be born into this world but too many times these home wreckers (women) set these married men up by getting pregnant so their relationship will no longer be a secret and when these men turn their backs on she and the child all of a sudden everybody talking about innocent child what about the innocent children inside of the house the home wrecker didn't care about?

    It's high time we start thinking about the children inside for a while. Thanks Deloris
  • unknown (28/03/2014, 02:49) Like (3) Dislike (0) Reply
    Unfortunately for married women, the story isn't over. .
  • crazy man (28/03/2014, 05:01) Like (2) Dislike (2) Reply
    I am in favour of this law, but Hon. Christopher seems to be placing the blame squarely on the back of the man and that is not correct. I am not seeing that we are discussing rapes here, because the parties involved are consenting adults. This means that the women need to take their share of the blame for this situation as well. Also as another commentator glossed over, let us not forget that some women (including wives) give men children even though they know that he is not the father. So you never know, the "outside pikney" could turn out to be the only child with rights to his/her father's assets even though the man was married with children. Finally, let us not forget that writing a proper WILL, would help to eliminate all of this drama, so the focus should be on encouraging the fathers to write their WILLs - NOT on this law which only steps in if he doesn't.
  • SIS (28/03/2014, 06:08) Like (6) Dislike (1) Reply
    If women feels that outside children shouldnt get any assets from their dad then dont get into the relationship with the men. Also if your husband get a child while being married to you, i suggest you leave the marriage and get your share in the divorce settlement
  • Hmmmm (28/03/2014, 06:37) Like (1) Dislike (2) Reply
    Seems like queen is a victim but why is it the woman who is involved with a married man is the home wrecker ? What role does the husband play it takes 2 to reproduce. Inside or outside a child is conceived it's still a child that should have or get equal love . Situations like these start the cold hearted and angry kids which we have in society today , because we involve kids in our stories .
  • Yes (28/03/2014, 07:16) Like (7) Dislike (0) Reply
    Someone said this a Christian society. Since when. More bars than churches. More children outside the house then in. Not only husbands cheating but wives as well. This society is no more Christian than S & G in biblical times. All you have here is a bunch of fake ass christians. In church sunday morning with their husband and wives, then out with their side piece at bars in the afternoon.
  • trrefdrfds (28/03/2014, 09:07) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply
    The same thing sud apply too if a woman get a child outside of marriage same as a man
  • reality (28/03/2014, 09:12) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply
    This law placed all children in the classification as child, no distinction. Nothing is wrong in keeping in line with the Constiution and Interational standards. What may become a big problem is if a ma and his wife togehter built a home, he has a 'so-called outside child', the man dies intestate (without a will) and this wife who is now about 70 and house paid off and she is retired, this so-called outside child, along with the children of the marriage will share together 50% of that home. This woman must now go and give that 'outside child' his or her share of the 50%. Suppose she is not in a position to do so, that 'outside child' if he/she is demanding can ask for partition of property, which could mean sale of house to satisfy this child.
    Is this satisfactory, certainly not. This is the only haunting aspect of this Status of Children's Bill.
    Men need to make a will if they have assets to distribute to avoid all the possibilities that this new Bill will create. Poor woman, sah!!
    • to reality (28/03/2014, 10:51) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply
      THis is not correct. The matrimonial home is excluded from the assets of the man and the wife will have a life estate in the property so that no one can move her out during her life time. After her death the 50% at least of that property will be hers and the other 50% will share with all the man's children.
  • respect (28/03/2014, 09:22) Like (1) Dislike (1) Reply
    I feel the tag "illegitimate" should be eliminated from the child. No were in the law does it say it is illegal to have a child regardless of the circumstances married or not, if this was the case there would be a lot of people arrested for committing an illegal act.
    • @respect (28/03/2014, 23:51) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply
      No it is not illegal, but what about God's law? What does he say about fornication? Is that legal? You see, I really believe that children are innocent and should not suffer for their parents' mistakes. What scares me with this new law is if I work hard as a wife but only have one child in wedlock and my not so hard working husband, since he is out there sowing his wild oats, have 6 children out of wedlock, where would your single child end up under those odds when most of the assets belong to his mother? Her assets will be split 7 ways, under the guise that it is our assets and her child is disinherited? This gives one a lot to think about in scenarios such as that. Scary isn't it?
  • ABC (28/03/2014, 09:33) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    Me anit no fan of deloris but I must agree with her
  • Wickedness (28/03/2014, 11:01) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply
    A wicked society we are from seeing the number of dislikes for children born not within a marriage and reading the number of disparaging comments.
  • Locust (28/03/2014, 14:58) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    Jesus said "suffer little children to come unto me" He never turned away those children. We were all made equal in God sight. I am not saying give the outside children anything what the wife work hard for. It is the father who should give from his portion. 50% is automatically the wife own according to law..the next 50% is the husband own..give the children from his 50%..I bet they will run and make a will now
  • Twisted (28/03/2014, 15:08) Like (6) Dislike (0) Reply
    Illegitimate children do not break up homes. A dishonest man with a wandering eye is responsible for breaking up their families and homes. We are always talking about Spanish woman getting children and breaking up homes. The blame is being misplaced. Stop by any bar that have Spanish women bartending, and you find men hanging around the bar drooling with their mouths open. They get off from work and they don't go home to their wives and kids. Are you going to blame another woman for the short comings of these wandering, lousy, whoring guys who can't resist and keep their zippers up? They know they have their homes with their wives and kids, so the responsibility rests totally on their shoulders to maintain and keep their homes intact. Stop making excuses for the husbands who are BUMS.
  • look stupid (28/03/2014, 15:17) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    My god I taught u had I heart but i could see u just stupid. It not the child it people like u who does create thing like this . Like i say I do not know why u are in politics I do not know why they even let u get on a mic to say any. I am a married woman and if my husband goes out and get a child well of course I will get upset but with him not the mother or the child the child is innocent. that why we a have some many mess up children today it people like you Delores Christopher does make children who they are today . Dat all I have to say Shame on u.
  • Sour (28/03/2014, 21:58) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply
    It takes two to tangle. A married man having a child outside of wedlock shows how irresponsible and inconsiderate he is. Making a child these days jus doesn't happen anymore in my view. There are contraceptives and alternative measures to avoid pregnancy. Imma work hard to give my children what they require even outside of a father. Reading these blogs are depressing. Let my love be equal to them. In today's society women are also bread winners. If u cheat there is a consequence.. simple.
  • Concerned (28/03/2014, 23:56) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply
    We have to worry about this new lazy breed of men we have out there with this one. Some of them already walking around spending their wife's money. Now with this lovely new piece of legislation they get to bring their sSix children to help them spend it legally.
  • ZIP - MAN (29/03/2014, 09:59) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply
    illegitimate children can't break up no home selfishness greed and falling out of LOVE HUSBAND AND WIFE BREAK UP HOME!
    • morereck (30/03/2014, 14:36) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
      As much as children are innocent, some women set their sights on married men. The men tell dem they don't sleep with dem wives. The single woman grabbed this opportunity and fall victims to de bait. The single woman realizes this is a lie, so she makes two and three children to kill the marriage. Should these children reap the same benefit. We live in a modern world. Women who conceive children for married men are deliberate. Should k the family pay twice. Let the man go out there and wok independently to mind those children. Not take food out of his family mouth. These are what the goldgigggers' should look at but dey come to destroy. Some one will pay. but not the wife and children in the marriage. Those befoe the marriage should get some reward fom the father but those during the marriage, no laws should make provision for them. This is a utter confusion.
  • O'Really (31/03/2014, 17:42) Like (1) Dislike (0) Reply

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