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In many a West African household, a battery of relatives hovered around an aging father and uncle, mother and aunt, treating them like hallowed deity. But alas, even in a Nigeria that holds the old in such high esteem, this veneration of the old is changing, and not for the better, especially in a new and much more material and scientifically oriented world.

In another vein, he also lived in the UK for many years, his country of birth, and what he witnessed there was a society that was driven by a culture of reason, materialism, pragmatism, and technological expediency. Britons in the 1980s, 90s and after, sang a love song to everlasting youth as an elixir, a panacea for all things bright and beautiful, shunting those over age 50 on to the sidelines, unless they were members of the upper classes, or very wealthy. The young and thrusting executive, the enigmatic Peter Pan, the prancing, energetic, and sexual rock star, the dashing spy, and the youthful and eloquent parliamentarian and Cabinet Minister: these were the icons of a culture of youth, and a society that put the twenty and thirty something year old on a shrine to be worshipped.

Now living in the Spectacular Caribbean, he has observed that the African paradigm still holds great sway with a substantial section of the island populations, probably an inheritance of the West Indies’ historic link with West Africa. The powerful and adored eighty something year old matriarch, and the similarly aged country farmer and rustic bumpkin, or the eighty year old beloved and respected calypso king, all these are still forces to be reckoned with in a community that has over the years respected its older folk, and cared for them till death. Keeping granny and granddad in their own home until the call to the great beyond is heard. Sadly, this too is changing with the onset of modernity, and a society driven by a digital and material paradigm.

Conversely, and not to generalize, in the wealthy North, the old people’s homes are filled with octogenarians that have been abandoned to live the rest of their days in a hospital type environment: sanitized, smelling of antiseptic and disinfectant, with care workers ambling about dressed in white, add the not so unusual sight of a bed within sight, with a body lying upon, covered completely by a white sheet, a prize, waiting for the local undertaker. In the wealthy north, the hospice and retirement home is a common sight, and a rendition of societies that put away the aged as one puts away a discarded relative; a culture where younger adults are too embarrassed to be associated with an older parent, until the final event, when they all gather around like vultures hoping the will is in good order.

Old age is defined and managed differently according to geography and culture. But one thing is inescapable: we are all, if God spares our lives, going to get old one day, with the stiffening joints, weakening muscles, fading eyesight, and memory lapses. And if we fail to look after ourselves properly with a good diet and exercise routine, the deterioration will be swifter, and our life quality at the end much poorer than had we kept our health at optimum.

So what does that mean? Well according to the research, ‘’ when people start out on adult life they are on average cheerful. Things go downhill from youth to middle age until they reach a nadir commonly known as mid-life crisis.’’ This is a time of gross confusion, and even depression for many adults, for men mostly, it appears.

When men start behaving like boys at 50, desiring what they feel they may have not had in their twenties, sighing over what might have been, behaving outrageously at a night club, even embarrassing their teenage children while giving their rendition of Elvis or Prince on board a cruise ship on karaoke night, please be understanding. That silly flirtation with a woman half his age, or a sudden fixation with his hair, and deep depression over a growing beer gut, all are a sign of impending crisis at mid age.

But be encouraged folk! The researcher writes that a ‘’ surprising thing happens after that. Although as people move towards old age they lose things they treasure: vitality, mental sharpness, and looks, they gain happiness.’’ Well sir! I for one did not realize that. But I certainly have noticed a type of serenity and patience naturally inherent in older folk that is an epiphany of the, ‘been there and done that’ and a knowingness and wisdom that proffers the possessor a gladness and satisfaction that could be termed, well yes, happiness.

History teaches that in the 16th and 17th Centuries, again courtesy of researchers who have the time to look into these things, that the years from early adulthood to middle age were ‘’ conceived as a rise in stature and contentedness , followed by a sharp decline towards the grave.’’ But do bear in mind that living at a time when the average life span was the early 40s, there was no old age to look forward to.

Modern research by a David Blanchflower, a professor of economics at Dartmouth College looked at aging figures and the relationship to happiness for 72 countries showed that in the great majority of countries, ‘’ people are at their unhappiest in their 40s and early 50s. The global average age for being most unhappy is 46.’’ There is a U bend that determines that- and this according to research done at Princeton- ‘’ enjoyment and happiness dip in middle age,‘’ then pick up in the latter years.

According to the Princeton study, ‘’ stress rises during the early 20s, then falls sharply; worry peaks in middle age, and falls sharply thereafter; anger declines throughout life; sadness rises slightly in middle age, and falls thereafter.’’

However, there may be explanations for this U bend phenomenon. The Economist writes that ‘’ perhaps the U bend is merely an expression of the effect of external circumstances ‘’ that comes with aging. ‘’ People in their 40s for instance often have teenage children; misery of the middle aged could be the consequence of sharing space with angry adolescents; and as older people tend to be richer, could their relative contentment be the result of their piles of cash?’’

The answer is apparently no. The fact is that people ‘’ behave differently at different ages. Older people have fewer rows and come up with better solutions to conflict. They are better at controlling their emotions, better at accepting misfortune, and less prone to anger.’’ These are changes that come from within.

Laura Carstensen, professor of psychology at Stanford University talks of ‘’ the uniquely human ability to recognize our own mortality and monitor our own time horizons. Because the old know they are closer to death they grow better at living for the present. They come to focus on things that matter now, and less on long term goals. Older people know what matters most.’’

Another explanation of old aged happiness may be that the ‘’ sight of contemporaries keeling over infuses survivors with a determination to make the most of their remaining years. Maybe, people come to accept their strengths and weaknesses-.’’ William James, an American Philosopher determined that ‘’ acceptance of ageing itself is a source of relief. How pleasant is the day we give up striving to be young or slender.’’

One great encouragement for all of us who have achieved AARP status is this one: if we are going into an age of increased happiness, John Weinman, professor of psychiatry at King’s College London, and a number of other researchers, have determined that happiness makes us healthier and more productive. Happier people are less likely to catch viruses, or show symptoms of illness, and can counteract declining cognitive skills by their cheerfulness.

So to those cultures, mainly Western, that put youth on a pedestal: maybe the societies of Africa and other places where old age is actually venerated have lessons to teach. It is ludicrous sometimes watching an 80 year old grandma trying to behave like she was half that age. Worse still, are those 80 year old billionaires with their twenty something trophy wives, who end up with catastrophic medical conditions on their honeymoon night.

Yes, the old Mediterranean farmer with a golden tan living on a hilly Greek Island, in a land and culture known for human longevity, with his clan of children, grand children, and great grand children, he is sitting on a verandah in his humble home overlooking the gorgeous Aegean, sipping at a glass of red wine, produced in the vicinity; and his house planted in the middle of an olive tree orchard; our octogenarian sitting next to his equally wrinkled wife, both holding hands and behaving like they just met moments ago. When you see that twinkle in their eye, it is simply because they accept who they are, live for the moment and then add happiness to their cocktail.

Now Gallup, in a recent survey of another land, thousands of miles to the south of our idyllic Greek utopia, determined that Nigerians were the happiest people on earth. Say what? Yes, the happiest people on the planet! One was surprised to say the least, to discover that Nigerians, living in a country that possesses severe economic and political problems, were considered as being highly elated and joyous.

But, considering the body of research proffered on the subject of old age and its related links with happiness, and the fact that the old in Nigeria are held in such high esteem, one cannot be surprised with those findings.