The husband should remain the head of the home- Allivern Smith-Harrigan
Smith-Harrigan, was a guest on Real Talk with Karia J. Christopher on the 10 most Influential Women of 2016 on CBN Channel 51 on December 30, 2016. She argued that while the decisions are made together, her husband remains in charge.
“Glen [Harrigan], is in charge of the house, we make decisions together, but at the end of the day, he is in charge of the house. I was brought up, and yes the bible says the man is in charge of the home and when I say that I don’t mean whatever you say goes, but he leads and I follow,” she said.
When asked whether it means giving in when they have the completely different perception on things, Harrigan noted that she has an open mind.
“I know we have a global revolution of women who thinks that I make my money, you make your money, I go east, you go west, and whenever it is convenient we come together in the middle. You don’t believe in that?” the host Christopher asked.
“No, because we have made it too much about you making your money and I making my money, it is about our money,” Harrigan, who has been married for some 18 years, pointed out.
She also mentioned that it is not about spending money and whether it should be done equally since, “It’s not about spending equally, it’s about what is best for the family.”
Separate bank accounts for ‘just in case days,’ yes or no?
“I believe you can have whatever money on the side but is it something that you are hiding? Is it a secret or is it that I am a better saver than my husband? From the time you get married, you are a team. Your way of saving, and my way of saving might be totally different, the whole thing we have to be thinking of the family at the end of the day, not about if I leave I have $50,000 hide away so he doesn't get anything. Things happen in life, and we have to sit down as adults and discuss it.”
Christopher pointed out, however, that when marriages fail the bank is the first place that both partners run to. “Well I can only tell you from my experience, we save as a team, what’s his is mine, what’s mine is his,” Smith-Harrigan responded.
She also said she does have money “on the side” and her husband is well aware of it.
One of the things that Smith-Harrigan believes has helped her marriage to last is spending quality time with her husband, and receiving everything in love.
Communication is key
In terms of sleeping with “big panties, stockings on your head, big t-shirts,” Harrigan said, “you can be comfortable and be me, but be the best me. There are days for that, but every day he can’t come home to meet you in a stocking on your head in a t-shirt smelling Clorox!” she said pointedly. “There are days when he want to come home to meet you as you are!”
Also challenging this remark, Christopher said why should all the pressure be on the woman to keep the spark, look pretty, come to bed in sexy outfits and why not the man as well?
In response, Smith-Harrigan said, “It is true, but I keep saying it is between the two persons. Sweetheart, drop the sweat pants tonight,” she said relating to speaking to her husband, “put on the bed what you want him to wear tonight. Drop the hints! Communication.”
The key to her successful marriage, Smith-Harrigan reiterated, is respecting each other’s personality and communication.
The next Real Talk programme is slated for Tuesday January 3, 2017 at 7:00 P.M. on CBN Channel 51.
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43 Responses to “The husband should remain the head of the home- Allivern Smith-Harrigan”
Have you ever wonder why we have such a high rate of divorce and abuse? it is because we are not in the 60's and no one respect the other anymore. If I were your husband you might have think different as we work in equality to have a good home. Then you would have been selfless in our taught and tell everyone My Husband is the head of our home as we work together and hide no secrets... Ladies Love and respect your husbands. We are not in the 60's but moral standards and principles are a reality and still stands...
Hope I make sense to those of you who just don't have a man because of bad attitude. A real man is head of the home!!!
and did the same things that she is talking about and the men left.
I understand that A... has major ma***al and past re******* issues.
Myself. But, if she want to sit there talking the BS and if it floats her boat, then so be it. LOL.
Your stupidity is showing......you are saved from the pointing and laughing by your anonymity.
Alivern is a beautiful person and I love that she is brave enough to speak her choices.
He suppose to make sure the home is in order how gods want it to be. Rem people the bible says you cannot let your hand know what you are doing. Husband not going to control my money. You work for yours i work for mines we come together to do what ever bills etc.