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SDD: “Disciplining” a child could lead to abuse

Physical abuse could be masked as disciplining a child, according to the Social Development Department. Photo:dailyinterestingfacts.com
ROAD TOWN, Tortola, VI – The Virgin Islands’ community seems to have a tolerance for physical abuse which is masked in the “broad context” of discipline, opined Stacie Stoutt-James, Supervisor of the Family and Children Services in a recent interview with this news agency.

“Within the culture of the community, people think slapping and whipping, striking a child is discipline, but what they don’t realise that going to the extreme is physical abuse, and the Social Development Department (SDD) is working tirelessly to publicize that information,” she explained.

Other types of physical abuse include: pushing, punching and pinching, among others.

The SDD has earmarked April as Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness month, which is being held under the theme “A Community In Action: Preventing Child Maltreatment and Promoting Wellbeing.”

According to Stoutt-James, research has indicated that when the six protective factors are present in family structures, the risk for neglect and abuse diminishes and optimal outcomes for children, youth, and families are promoted.

These protective factors are nurturing and attachment; knowledge of parenting and of child and youth development; parental resilience; social connections; a strong support network for parents; and social and emotional developmental well-being.

12 Responses to “SDD: “Disciplining” a child could lead to abuse”

  • Devon O (16/04/2012, 08:10) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    i old fashion i going put some licks on deeds rude children
  • the bible (16/04/2012, 08:35) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    "spare the rod and spoil the child"
    • I try (16/04/2012, 09:13) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
      I try not to overdo it - but I lash my children with a belt or my hand - and a pinch or two depending. These children are obstinate and that 'Time Out Corner' does not work. Children are children and they will push the buttons to test how far they can go. If the parents 20 years ago were more serious at disciplining their children - the jail might not be as full. What SDD needs to talk about more is SPOILING the children. They tell us not to beat but where's the other solutions? Put that in the radio ad or on the TV commercial. Parents 20 years ago and still today (yes the 16, 25 and 30 year old parents) give their children everything, talk anything in front of them and never tell them "no". So when a teacher or a peer or a police tells them "no" or "stop" - what happens? We need to ease up on the reactionary measures and dig at the root of the problems. Parents - your child is NOT CUTE - teach them right from wrong. And to you who allows your child to bully other children - you are brewing some little beasts - tomorrow's bad bosses and criminals - domestic violence, burglary or otherwise. Discipline your children and love them.
  • Ty-Rexx (16/04/2012, 10:11) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    Don't want to mark or cut my child's skin, will not hit her in her head or any other sensitive area, will not kick or punch her, or strike her with any solid object, will not call her names or embarrass her, BUT. . . . . . . .I will take the time to adjust her attitude if necessary, and present punishment to discourage her from doing the wrong things and/or from inappropriate behaviour. I want her to have manners, tolerance and respect. I will NOT spare the rod. I am NOT spoiling my child.
  • Confucius (16/04/2012, 12:54) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    The Holy Bible says, spare the rod and spoil the child! The left wing element of society that molly coddles children and believes in using reason and time outs as punishment ~ need to give their heads a shake. It's a joke! I spank my children on their bottoms when needed. I never use a belt or stick or any other device. The palm of my hand is sufficient. My children know I don't yell but they do know to expect a spanking if they do something particularly bad. My children are (for the most part) well behaved, polite and they all have excelled in school. Naturally, they have each had their moments ~ they are still children after all. We have RULES in our house and if you break the rules, you can expect "appropriate" punishment. This nonsense about not spanking your child is just plain stupid. When the situation warrants, I will give my children a spanking. Once the tears stop, THEN we talk about it. They rarely need to be corrected again for the same thing. Government needs to stay out of people's business when it comes to spanking. Spanking is NOT abuse! Now if you put marks on a child, cut their skin, hit them using a belt or stick or hit them anywhere but on their bottom ~ then yeah, THAT'S abuse! I once saw a mother slap her child in the face in a public restaurant. I was really taken aback. I told her if she did it again, I would first slap her in exactly the same manner and then call the police. Had she removed her from the public eye and spanked her on the bottom, the child would have gotten the message. There is a big difference between bullying and discipline. Discipline ends with a spanking.
  • high time (16/04/2012, 14:50) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    some times they need a clap or two but not an abusive one
  • Discipline (16/04/2012, 17:17) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    Most parents that I know often confuse punishment and discipline. Often they believe that the only way to correct a negative behavior is by beating a child. As a result, they frequently miss a critical opportunity to teach their children vital lessons and instead create an environment of fear and control rather than one of trust and respect. Very few parents ever speak to the child or show love or affection. Thus, most children would rather go to someone else or keep a problem to themselves rather than go to their parents when they have a problem. Children in turn grow to believe that the way their parent show love is by corporal punishment and repeat the cycle with their own children. There is a difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is design to teach, target particular misbehavior, and helps the child to develop self discipline, become more responsible and promotes self-confidence. Punishment, on the other hand, focuses on what the child did wrong as oppose to what the child needs to do right; penalizes a child often for things not related to the misbehavior; focuses on the parent by giving the parent sole responsibility and control for correcting the misbehavior (frequently through beatings) rather than encouraging the child to take responsibility for his/her actions; Often, punishment is usually done in a very punitive manner with an emphasis on catastrophizing the misbehavior, with a retaliatory undertone. While punishments such as taking away privileges and grounding are often encouraged, it should usually be done in conjunction with disciplinary strategies such as listening to the child’s/teen’s version of the events and reason for the misbehavior; allowing the child/teen to express his/her feelings about the event and including the child in finding ways to correct the misbehavior/problem.
    • hazzra (19/04/2012, 00:30) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
      hey all this lovely book stuff is nice and fancy talk. Keep it for your child and your particular situation. I hope when you done talk and the child continue to do what you allow him/her to do you'll find another fancy technique to try. I was a child who believe that I can do whatever. I knew full well all the wrongs I did and that my mother will not sit on hands while I continue. It did not cause a change until I got a good whooping then a psalm to read. I never looked back since and I am proud that my mother loved me so much she was willing to shed tears and blood even to get me on the right path. I am thankful for all the love she poured out on me in my trying days. Thanks for the whipping Mom I love you to.
      • cinammonspice3 (23/09/2012, 11:17) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
        I so agree with you. All this fancy book things that some man came along and made up I sure his mother give them whoopings and they turn out just find. I look back in my past often as I have kids and wonder if I didn't get some of them good whooping where would I be. Talking was not going to work for some of the thing I did lol. But now that I am grown I more than understand what it was all about. I am surely thankful for the good whoopings that made me realize the right behavior to have and to know right from wrong.
  • cinammonspice3 (23/09/2012, 11:07) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    The bible says spare the rod spoil te child. The government are coming up with all kinds of laws that making these children feel like they are not to be disciplined. "Time Out " what a joke. I could put my kids in time out todayy and tommorow they do the same thing again. But if I hit them with a rule in their hands they get the message. I strongly believe in spanking a child. Yes I spank my kids with a 12" rule in their hands or on their buttoms. Sometimes is we out and I don't have access to the rule they get a pinch or a clap on the leg. I always expain to my kids that I love them and I don't like to spank them but they leave me no choice when they get out of control. I grew up in foster care and I was abuse four 17 years of my life. Beating with all kinds of things raped and deprived of food soI know first hand what abuse is. I would never abuse my kids. These people from child protective services need some spanking themselves. They taking people children saying their being abuse and putting them in foster homes where the abuse really is. They never turn back or look back until something major happen to these kids. I love my kids more than my life itself but I refuse to let this government tell me how to raise my kids. The jails are over populated and the school are under populated. My kids are both top of thier classes and are very polite. they are still young and I would like them to grow with these traits so they can become good men and women. In say this when they get out of hand I spank them. My kids know I love them and we talk very close and they always come back and apologize when they calm down. That was something I didn't teach them but I am grateful that they understand that they need to be disciplined. I am rasing my kids in the church so they have good foundation and I try my best to teach them all I know is right. This government is just out of place they can't even run the place but they trying to put themselves in people families. I am not saying that their is not abuse out there because there is but they should be able to tell the difference. Stop putting stupodness in the kids head about spanking is child abuse if that was the case most of our mothers would be in jail.


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