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Missing dads and neglectful mothers

- Final story on poor parenting and social dysfunction: two evils creating a new social underclass in the Virgin Islands
Dickson Igwe. Photo:supplied
By Dickson Igwe

There is a social malaise in the Virgin Islands that can be termed THE PARENTING DEFICIT. It is one overt and highly visible feature of adult irresponsibility. And it appears to be the progeny of a new and potentially destructive material order.

Bad parenting is a toxic theme that has damaged the institution of family by placing the pursuit of the material at the top of the scale of priorities in the community. But it is also a rendition to a world that has come to accept marriage as the exception, and where having children out of wedlock is the new norm. 

Bad parenting is a toxic theme that has damaged the institution of family by placing the pursuit of the material at the top of the scale of priorities in the community. But it is also a rendition to a world that has come to accept marriage as the exception, and where having children out of wedlock is the new norm. 

While many a mum and dad pursue the proverbial pie in the sky, and their own teens barely able to look after themselves have a nest filled with kids, boys and girls run wild in schools and on the street, creating havoc, mayhem, and social trauma. One national newspaper, in its editorial, put it this way on January 10, 2013: ‘’ The Rapid Influx of prosperity seems to have corrupted this society.

OK, prosperity is a good thing, but it becomes a bad thing, when the love of money takes precedence over a love for God, good health, strong families, and strong community.

Materialism in these Lesser Antilles, a direct result of the prosperity brought about by globalization, is a way of life that has been characterized by accompanying social and familial dysfunction. This is a destructive modus Vivendi, evidenced in increasing crime, and a social selfishness that is alien to a Virgin Islands yesteryear.

The 1950s, 60s, 70s, and 80s, were a time when each was his brother’s keeper. There was a time, pre the 1990s, when family and community were truly at the center of Virgin Islands society. So this Observer has been told by friends and family: he lived in the UK, before migrating to these idyllic shores. This is clearly no longer so.

One note of comfort is this one: the social trauma caused by poor parenting, and a new material economic order driven by computer science, US media, and a global consumer culture, is not unique to these Virgin Islands. Yes and admittedly, DELINQUENT PARENTS affect negatively national cultures and accompanying social sub types, all over the world.

For example, this swimming instructor, and wannabe Michael Phelps, was chatting away with a charming female from the USA at Nanny Cay Pool the other day. This lady described how her sister in law, a school principal in Salt Lake City, Utah, literally had to retire early due to the stress brought on by dysfunctional kids.    

Now, returning to these sunny Virgin Islands; and one obvious example of the trauma caused by troublesome children is the lack of control over youth riding motorbikes illegally in the community. These bikes are purchased by well to do but irresponsible parents, parents who know that their children are riding these dangerous machines, without the required driver’s licenses, insurances, lawful registration, and licensing,  and kids get injured or die as a result. 

A visit to the local courthouse tells the story of increasing social dysfunction. Every month, the number of JUVENILE DELINQUENTS charged for various offences, including the illegal use of motorbikes is very high for a tiny country. The courts are very busy these days processing young offenders.

And these juveniles eventually become adult criminals. The legal establishment, quite rightly, is very reluctant about incarcerating juveniles. But there comes a moment when a repeat offender must be penalized with detention. The story is the same for the educational establishment. Like the courts with incarceration, schools are very reluctant to expel a delinquent student. 

But there comes a moment when a principal must weigh the safety and welfare of his or her staff and student population, against the selfish and dangerous behavior of one or two juvenile delinquents. EXPULSION IS, AND MUST REMAIN, AN OPTION FOR THE VIRGIN ISLANDS EDUCATION ESTABLISHMENT.  

In years to come, one can sadly assert that certain parts of this community will resemble inner city areas of the USA, if drastic intervention does not occur. There will be no go areas, and certain sections of the society ruled by gangs. The increase in family and social dysfunction will certainly result in an increase in violent crime in the future if not checked.  This is not alarmist by any means. 

Be warned, that in a world ruled by globalization, aggressive competition, and scientific knowledge, where the brightest and best succeed, youth who do not attain the very high level educational and vocational standards and skills necessary for survival in today’s climate, will become a NEW UNDERCLASS. They will marry each other, or better said have children out of wedlock with each other, and perpetuate a growing GHETTOISATION of the community.  

But this is a simple DARWINIAN paradigm. In a world governed by a multilingual educational curriculum, advanced math, and digital science and information technology, those parents that take the time and effort to rear well balanced children, socially and educationally, enabling their offspring benefit from a new paradigm in global learning will be rewarded by the plugging of their offspring into the new knowledge elite. 

The international elite will rule the roost both nationally and internationally: these will be the businessmen, diplomats, knowledge workers, and scientists; key executives and powerful bureaucrats, in places such as Washington DC, Brussels, and Beijing; to a lesser extent, New York, and Berlin. Men and women that will possess the unique linguistic skills and internationalist nuances that speaks of the marriage of various disciplines driven by international trade and financial capitalism. Do not be in doubt about that. Yes, this is actually an emerging global phenomenon. And these possessors of the new and increasingly critical knowledge and skills will rule the Virgin Islands future. This separation has already begun. 

The new elite will live separate lives, in gated communities. They will marry each other, they will place educational attainment and achievement on a pedestal, and in turn ensure that their offspring receive the best in education society can offer. Because they will already possess power, the new elite will use this power for the benefit of their own families and social group. The days when money fell out of the sky are over for these Antilles. Wealth and prosperity today is a single pathway that goes through excellence in education and vocational training, shaped by a new global model. 

Now, the sad epiphany of an emerging underclass is not inevitable by any means. It is not irreversible. But it will take enormous effort and intervention by the community to combat a clear, present, and imminent danger.  The stress in Virgin Islands politics must be on saving the youth of this society from long term social dysfunction; in other words, on building a strong spiritual, social, and educational infrastructure.

The physical and economic infrastructure is ultimately the servant of society, not vice versa. A country’s social infrastructure is the most important component of development: the family, community organizations, the church, culture, sport, education, and health. When these are limping along in dysfunction, and suffering neglect, the pursuit of materiality as evidenced by a stress on physical and infrastructural development, simply becomes the pursuit of FOOL’S GOLD.   

The End 

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5 Responses to “Missing dads and neglectful mothers”

  • under the bus (20/01/2013, 10:10) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    this one is not to bad
  • NDP friends (20/01/2013, 14:04) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    I wonder who is he the mouth piece for this time???
  • steel man (21/01/2013, 08:14) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    i hope the parents will take heed of your issues
  • Confucius (21/01/2013, 16:37) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    I agree wholeheartedly Mr. Inwe, but I believe most parents think they are doing their utmost for their children. The fact of the matter is that far too many children are raising themselves simply because they come from a single parent home.

    While Mom is busy working 2 or 3 jobs to sustain herself and family, the children are doing whatever it is that children do when not properly supervised. Far too many fathers provide very little support for their progeny. It is a recipe for disaster.

    Unfortunately, the single parent home has become ingrained in our society. As you yourself stated, it has become the norm rather than the exception. We read about the results of this rather sad situation every day of the week in our local paper's crime section.

    Our youths are out of control, they are quick tempered, have little or no respect for authority. They have no compunction against using violence to solve their problems or stealing to get whatever they want. The reason being is that we are raising a generation of street kids who are not being properly supervised.

    Until men and women return to good old fashioned family values, marriage and monogamy ~ nothing will change because in our society, we men like to dip our pens into as many ink wells as possible. Unfortunately, the women not only allow it, they all but condone it by having our children outside of wedlock. It is a very sad state of affairs.
  • hh (22/01/2013, 02:39) Like (0) Dislike (0) Reply
    Politics is a very dirty dangerous game


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