Dickson Igwe. Photo: VINO

Now this Old Boy does not want to generalise. There are still “kids” that behave like kids. However, too many children today appear to be growing up before their time. And “precociousness” is not necessarily a good thing in his eyes. In fact, precociousness in a child can be ‘’downright irritating.’’

Children behaving like adults miss out on the joys of childhood. They never sense the wonder; the adventures of growing up; the gifts of playtime; and the excitement of story time. The blame for this can be placed at the feet of parents.

The child that wants to grow up before their time will soon find out that adulthood is not all that it is cut out to be. In fact, that child will find out that adulthood can be downright depressing. The child who has an “adult’s mind” because he or she has been deceived into thinking this a virtue will not necessarily like the company of adults who will consider that child a “bit too cute for comfort.”

There was a story in the UK Guardian Newspaper of October 4, 2016 on the state of children in the UK. It was a story that caught this Writer’s eye. In fact it was a revelation. Writer Owen Jones made the statement that Britain should be “ashamed of what she is doing to her children.” Jones described, “the intolerable pressures on Britain’s children that had led to shockingly high levels of mental health problems.”

In the UK, a quarter of a million children are receiving specialist care for mental distress. Disorders range from depression to eating disorders. In addition, children contemplating suicide doubled in the last five years.

Jones stated that it was easier to diagnose a crisis than to cure it. Jones pointed to disturbing metrics to highlight the crisis in child self esteem. Over a third of girls aged 7-10 were made to feel that their looks were the most important thing. A higher percentage felt that they were not pretty enough. For girls aged between 11 and 21, 80% felt that their looks were the most important thing about them.

Gender expectations damaged boys too. A rigid unreconstructed form of masculinity caused boys who were deemed to be insufficiently manly to face abuse.

Furthermore, there were social factors that negatively affected children such as poor diet, lack of exercise, and family conflict. Poverty was a stressor. Poverty brought the internalised shame of the child being conscious of not having the same opportunities as other children. There was a “consumer capitalism” that defined the child by what brand of trainer the child wore.

Then the educational culture was obsessed with exams. This created greater anxiety for the child over the consequences of poor performance. The result was more issues of mental stress and low self esteem for children.

Ok. In this super competitive world, the best thing we can all do as parents and adults is to simply let kids be kids. The Legendary Carlos Santa once sang a song of great wisdom: “Let the Children Play.” Santana stressed in the piece that the best thing for the child was to simply be a child, and the best thing adults could do was to leave the kids alone to be themselves.

In fact, true play is a major way society can alleviate the “heavy load” the materially driven culture of “keeping up with the Joneses places on children.” And the Virgin Islands are a natural playground for children.

But no, instead, there is this misguided notion that even in these veritable paradise islands, stressing our children through “overwork and having to keep up with the stupid drive for material things,” is a “necessary way of living.”

In the 1960s and 1970s when there was not the “material rush” this country has presently adopted, play was part of the culture of the village. The safety of the village meant the child could leave the home and go out to play without parents becoming “terrified” something bad would happen to that child. Children could play safely, wholesomely, and wholeheartedly. Whether society was happier at the time, this Writer will leave to those that dwelled in the villages of yesteryear to answer.

Kevin Coombs wrote an article in the Atlantic Magazine of September 13, 2016 titled, “Learning through play.” The Writer argued that education did not stop at the playground. In fact play was an integral part of education. However, in play, the child had to engage for recreation and enjoyment rather than for a serious or practical purpose.

Dr Jack Shonkoff is Director of the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. Shonkoff has stated that “play is one of the most important ways that children learn.” Then, Jill Vialet is Founder of Playworks. Playworks is a US Organisation that works with schools to give kids opportunities to play safely and meaningfully. Vialet describes play as “the way we teach the newest members of our community what makes civil society function.”

The benefits of play according to Vialet included better behaviour, reduced conflict, greater cooperation between children, and greater participation in classroom activities by children. Play increased cognitive ability and increased classroom focus. Wholesome play increased academic achievement. Play offered valuable soft and life skills to the child.

Overwork is not good for children. Loading children with homework to such an extent that play is neglected is not a good thing. Neither is encouraging the child to grow up before their time.

So, the next time the observing adult meets with the child who wants to show an adult face, thinking that he or she is “cute,” instead of thinking highly of that child, feel sorry for them.

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