Dr Pickering warns against demise of traditional family
To the women gathered at the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Parliamentary Association Women Parliamentarians Conference held at The Moorings on Saturday July 25, 2015, the Minister said, “Women have always been the bond cementing the nuclear and the extended family but in recent times there have been a gradual shift with women responding to the call to serve their community in different capacities.”
Women on top
He said women are dominating every sector of the economy and there is no sector that he can think about that is not populated by women.
“I want to challenge you that in the Caribbean we have some deeper issues to think about. One of the first questions I want to pose to you is how are we thinking of these new problems?” he asked.
He linked the breakdown of the nuclear family with the demise of males in education and upward mobility. He noted that everywhere in the Caribbean it can be observed that males are the ones sitting on the corner doing nothing and enrolling in school at rates significantly less than their female counterparts.
“You have to ask yourself the question if women are the predominant head of households and we are having problems such as we see with our young males, what are the solutions to the problems? What is likely to happen to our males in the future?” he asked.
Natural order of things should not be disrupted
“One pastor friend of mine said if you interfere with the balance, if you interfere with the natural order of things, you are going to have problems. The widening gap between our young people, male and female, what is it going to mean for the nuclear family in the future? What does it mean for the increasing divorce rate?” he asked.
He said if the nuclear family continues to deteriorate there is no telling what the future will be like. “I am not here to raise a debate about marriage and certainly not same-sex marriage but if we are going to have strong families [there must be the survival of the nuclear family].”
The Government of the Virgin Islands has already made its intention clear to leave marriage as what it is known here as - being between a man and a woman - as outlined on at least two occasions recently by Premier Dr The Honourable D. Orlando Smith.
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18 Responses to “Dr Pickering warns against demise of traditional family”
When children see the role that men play in our society, what else can be expected of them? They are being brought up thinking that this is not only normal, it is acceptable. It will take several generations to "fix" the social ills that have a firm grasp on the Caribbean and other places throughout the world.
I wish women would simply put their foot down and put an end to it. You cheat on me, there's the door and don't come back. Instead, they condone this philandering by having children out of wedlock and putting up with "sharing" their men. Not me sir! No way. My family and my children mean too much to me to ever let that happen in my house!
You fix the male mentality and perhaps the nuclear family stands a chance of making a come back. Until then, I see no hope for boy children in our society. Things are only going to get worse because women are being forced to fend for themselves AND their children.
Also, many of the women value further education more than men who usually go into construction or some kind of manual labour. I remember hearing my women fiends complain because they can't find an educated man.
Right on my sister ~ as usual! What struck a chord with me was your reference to we men wanting to shirk our duties as fathers. I take exception to that personally, because I consider myself a good father, but I certainly see your point.
The serial sperm donor mentality is indeed pervasive throughout the Caribbean and as much as I hate to admit it, some of my friends do seem to think it is something to be proud of to have multiple children from multiple women. Wooohoo, look at me, I got me 13 children from 3 ladies! They look at is as some kind of strange achievement rather than something for which they should be ashamed. Some of them don't even offer financial support to their ladies.
However, the way I see it, women are the ones responsible for the decline of the nuclear family. They treat their male children differently. They pamper them and see to it that they are fed, dressed properly and have everything they need. They cook and clean for them, even after they have become grown men!
Girl children on the other hand are taught to cook at an early age ~ at least they were in my home, they are given responsibilities in the home, are expected to help with the laundry and cleaning, etc. In other words, they are taught to be responsible. Meanwhile, the boy children are out causing mischief with their friends.
Why don't boys share in the work around the house? Why do mothers pampers their boys? Why don't we as a society demand more from our boys?
Women are indeed taking on the role of the head of household because they have no choice BUT to be the breadwinners in their single parent homes. To be a breadwinner and to properly provide for your children, education is the only way to get ahead. The way I see it is that the young women of our society have accepted their role as head of household and the male role of lazy bum who eats, sleeps, messes up the house and then moves on to his other women, only to do the same there.
If women didn't bring children up in such a way as to condone this behaviour and accept their lot in life as the responsible breadwinner, maybe the male population would start to see the light. I'm just sayin' ...
It isn't just the male mentality that needs to be changed.