Theodore James. Photo:provided

Not knowing his five year old son was watching, he punched her in her face as he expressed his deepest and darkest evil; that if he could not have her, he would rather see her dead than to see her in the arms of another man.

For thirteen years Jonathan watched in the shadows as his mother endured the beatings of his father. He vowed that in his marriage he would treat his wife with all the love that his mother never experienced.

Now twenty-five years old, Jonathan finds himself in prison for the murder of his girlfriend of three years and leaving behind his three year old son who is the pride and joy of his life to the care of the Rainbow Children Home.

Is there not some truth to what a child continually sees and hears in his environment can most likely become a part of his or her character? So then why do parents find it necessary to discipline their children when they embarrass them in public when most of the time they are only modelling what was thought to them in their homes or the place where they mostly spend their time?

Domestic Violence is no respecter of race, religion, colour, gender, age and ethnic or national origin. It is definitely no respecter of economical status and sexual orientation. It has become an epidemic disease that seems to have no means to an end.

Should I dare to classify Domestic Violence and HIV/AIDS as one in the same? They both require a host to carry out its life mission. They both can live a long time without obvious signs and they both can lead to a slow and painful death. As much as we know, that what is done in the dark can come to light, domestic violence can be a silent killer.

Violence in the home is not just a movie on Lifetime television. It is the hidden truth of many women, children and men living day to day right here in the Virgin Islands. This is one secret that must be brought to light and abusers brought to justice.

Many victims of domestic violence see no light through their tunnel of darkness.  Many victims remain victimized because they financially cannot make ends meet. Some remain silent because their immigration status lies in the hands of their abuser.  And many die at the cost of keeping a false appearance of a marriage or common-law union together for the sake of their children.

When will enough be considered enough? When will the churches and communities stand united against domestic violence and protect the many victims among their congregation and groups by financially supporting organizations like the Family Support Network (FSN) which provides much needed assistance to victims who attend these very same churches? When will this territory march to insist that abusers be brought to justice and for the rule of law to recompense greatly to the abused more than just a prison sentence?

In order to turn the tide, a social revolution must take place. We must 

1.      acknowledge that domestic violence is prevalent in our territory

2.      punish and rehabilitate those who do the abusing

3.      educate and empower those who are and have been recipients of domestic violence

4.      educate the populace of domestic violence  and the law that protects victims and potential victims

5.      stop being bystanders and become active participants against crime

6.      find and adapt alternative ways of discipline that work rather than using methods that do not

7.      train our children in proper etiquette

8.      make anger management and communication classes accessible to children, parents and young adults

9.      address and stand against unfair practices and victimization in the workplace

10.  address gender  equity, gender equality,  and gender roles due to economic, political, social, educational  and cultural shifts

11.  continue relationship and newlywed counselling

12.  enter dating and courtship with standards and establish rules of engagement

It was Gerard Vanderhaar that said, "We challenge the culture of violence when we ourselves act in the certainty that violence is no longer acceptable, that it's tired and outdated no matter how many cling to it in the stubborn belief that it still works and that it's still valid."

In other words, we must become agents of change if we desire change. We as Virgin Islanders must learn to speak as one. We must speak as one voice, conveying one message, standing unified against the threats that seek to divide the cause for a more peaceable union. Only then will there be a turning of the tide.

In my story, Jonathan was a child that was not the direct recipient of the brutal beatings or the unkind and harsh words spoken to in the case of violence in the home, but the actions of his father were imprinted in his mind.

Therefore, it is possible that manifestation of what has been imprinted can be revealed over time. In psychology this is called observational learning.

So let us stop and take a stand against violence because violence only beget violence.

Principal of the school, Mrs Marietta Flax-Headley, explained that the proposed massage session involves teachers being treated to brief upper body massages by a volunteer parent, Ms Misty Maxwell, who happens to be a masseuse.

The roses distributed to the teachers were sponsored by Mr Michael Herbert while the Celebration Breakfast is being jointly sponsored by Messrs Lesmore Smith and Marvin Blyden.